Day something or other (Middle of the 8 day retreat) A day of silence.

I’m 3/4 of the way through my day of silence and feel pretty good. I haven’t felt the need to chat or engage verbally with my fellow retreaters and I’m really understanding just how much chatter goes on in my head. I always thought that I could reach the space between thought easily but it turns out I’m wrong. I feel a bit fraudulent calling this blog The Honest Buddhist because after 3 or 4 days of teaching I came here thinking I had a basic understanding but it turns out I’m completely ignorant, that’s ok though I’m enjoying all the learning and meditations.
The one thing that is puzzling though is that after 47 years I am not eating myself anymore. Something has switched off a need in my sub conscious brain which has stopped me putting my fingers in my mouth and biting my nails. It’s weird because I only noticed it when I started to scratch myself by accident. My nails have grown in 4 days to the longest that I have ever seen them and it feels strange when I think about it. I thought when I realised that the  nail biting had stopped that I would automatically start again but it hasn’t.  What is it about the Buddhism  practice  which has stopped this habit on a subconscious level?
My rational explanation is this. We have been practising the  Chenrezig  Prayers and as he is the embodiment of compassion then maybe it has reached my child self and confirmed “it’s ok, you can stop eating yourself you have enough food now.” Or “Don’t stress…it’s all ok”. Whatever it is I am happy and grateful. I have no expectations that  this may be switched off for good, I’m just happy that I am full at the moment.




This year I am trying to be leaner and greener. Firstly I will try to eat as healthy and natural as possible. Secondly, I have also had issues with my back and I will be incorporating exercise into my life. I look forward to living in the now spiritually and feeding my soul.

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